Leaders Should Want to be Liked

• "You don't love someone because of who they are,"he said, "you love them because of the way they make you feel. "
• "The Leaders people want to follow are the ones for whom they have genuine affection."
• "being motivated to have others like us will result in more empowering actions on our part than just wanting to be respected."

The problem with wanting people to like you while you are acting in a leadership position, which everyone does, is you are less likely to stand up for what you believe in and less likely to own your decisions. The authors don't mention that part, that sometimes the leaders that accomplished the most are maybe not the ones you liked the most. Being liked and being respected are two separate ideas. And looking back at any of my experiences, leaders for example coaches, have clouded decisions when they are trying to be your friend first. This doesn't mean I support acting like a tyrant. To some degree you need to have the backing of the people you are leading, and most people won't support you if you are unlikeable. People with unbearable bosses tend to quit. So I can see where the authors are coming from in that light. What the authors should have said was "Hey don't be a jerk and people will probably listen better."

I really loved the final piece of advice the authors gave at the end of chapter seven. It was sassy!

"If you have people working for you in leadership roles who truly don't care if other people don't like them, then fire them. They may not like you, but everyone else will."

What I really take out of this part of the book was simple. Be fair! People will be more motivated and more excited to work for you if you can be nice sometimes. Leaders want people to like them, and people tend to remember the leaders they liked.